Dammit

Old guy in a bar

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after-shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, about mid-eighties.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

Mr.

Certified

Cranky :-)

Grumpy

Fun

Handome

0

Mobile phones

Old Fart

Shrinking Buck

4 on a bench

Helmet

Bah!

Cranky!

How did I get here?

Rooney

The Who

Just Grumpy

Whining

Not so grumpy

Cold day

Young VS Old

Better with age

Old Guys Rule

Hmmmmm

Park bench

Nice!!

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after-shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, about mid-eighties.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

Jack

Toasters

Sesemee Street

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
He went back in a month and the doctor said,
'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Scrolling

Global Warming

Driving

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!"
”Heck”,said Herman,
"It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Hearing

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art.
It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty', he replied.

Memory

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be

Beer

Three old guys are out walking.. First one says,
'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Win trip 2 NY

Show LG your #BestShotEver and win a trip to New York and two G4s http://www.androidcentral.com/show-lg-your-bestshotever-and-win-trip-new-york-and-two-g4s

Another quote from my lifelong inspiration:

I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong. (John Lennon 1940-1980)

Old guys rule 2

Old guys rule

A couple of jokes

Hey; we don't serve your type in this bar!
A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy and a giraffe go into a bar
Bartender says; what can I get you two?
Guy says; beers for both of us and keep em coming
Giraffe gets drunk and passes out on the floor
Guy gets up to leave
Bartender says, hey you can't leave that lyin on my floor
Guy says; it's a giraffe; not a lion....
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yet another fav quote of mine

• When all the trees have been cut down, when all the animals have been hunted, when all the waters are polluted, when all the air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
~ Cree Prophecy

Bob Marley quote

Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end. (Robert Nesta Marley: 1945 -1981)

Grumpy pics

Huh?

Happy Fathers Day 2U
Happy Fathers Day 2U
I may not be a baldy
But I'm an old fart 2

Quotes

Some of my favourite quotes:

Doctors prescribe medicine's of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know even less, for persons of whom they know nothing at all. (Sylvester Stallone: B - 1946

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. (John Lennon: 1940 - 1980)

Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now. (Bob Dylan: B - 1941)

And so castles made of sand slips into the sea, eventually. (Jimi Hendrix: (1942 - 1970)

Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? (Pink Floyd/1975

It's better to burn out than to fade away. (Neil Young: B - 1945)

You can judge a man's true character by the way he treats his fellow animals. (Paul McCartney: B - 1942)

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. (Mick Jagger: B - 1943)

Talk about your plenty, talk about your ills, one man gathers what another man spills. (Jerry Garcia: 1942 - 1995)

Old men

My old man used to biatch out, now it's my turn - LOL

Old Guys Rule

OLD GUYS RULE!!! - Cause they still got an Axe(guitar) to grind......