Park bench

Nice!!

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after-shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, about mid-eighties.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

Jack

Toasters

Sesemee Street

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
He went back in a month and the doctor said,
'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Scrolling

Global Warming

Driving

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!"
”Heck”,said Herman,
"It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Hearing

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art.
It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty', he replied.

Memory

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be

Beer

Three old guys are out walking.. First one says,
'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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